Tuesday April 19, 2011
Are You Set Up To Win?
Non-supportive environments will cause you growing pains
Submitted by Mimi Nelson, Life Skills Coach
wisting the door stoppers and giving the handle a tug, a rush of warm, moist air reaches my nose. The smell of warm dirt and growing seedlings takes me back to earlier greenhouses of my youth. Some plants are already 5 inches tall, others just showing themselves above the dirt.
Water lines showing on the inside of the greenhouse plastic evidence of the moisture, warmth and sun. Fans humming and soft music the gardener has chosen for their time of planting and caring. It is common knowledge what seeds need to grow and while some vary slightly, for the most part they need the right physical environment to get a good start and to be healthy and strong as they mature and ultimately win their game of life…to produce fruit, flower or leaf.
You need the best environment to win at your games of life too. It could be there’s a relationship that isn’t supporting you or perhaps you don’t have the right connections to really network with people. Is your physical health and space holding you back?
First you need to determine what your big goal/game is right now and what winning that goal/game looks like. Maybe you’re playing a “Choose Your Career” game, winning might be landing a job or enrolling in a training course. If your game is “Find an Intimate Partner”, winning could be passing the 3rd month of a relationship.
Second, you need to know why you’re playing this particular goal/game? Does it reflect your creative side? Better match your purpose in life? Get you closer to an even bigger goal/game?
Once you know what you’re playing for and what winning looks like, let’s look briefly at 3 important environments:
1. Relationships - have a look at the 5 people you spend the most time with…daily or almost daily. Are they 100% supportive or do they whine when you work late or spend an evening away from them? Do they know your big goal/game and are most of your conversations with each person mostly energizing or more draining? What is blocked or missing from these relationships?
2. Network – do you have at least 10 people you know by first name and would know who you are when you call them without much explanation, that also know your big goal/game? Do you keep in contact with them with updates at least monthly if not more?
3. Physical – have you created a space around you that’s very cluttered? Do you have a lot of unfinished projects around or piles of papers and magazines? Look around you right now and throw away, get rid of or fix at least 5 things before the sun goes down.
Just like putting the seedlings in a freezing, dark space which will cause them to lose their “game” of growing into mature plants, so too will your non-supportive environment cause you to lose yours. If the environment always wins, how is yours supporting you and how can you make it even more supportive?
To reach Coach Mimi for a 30 minute complimentary session, email here.
About Mimi Nelson
Coming from an upbringing mostly in her grandparents home and a strict fundamentalist Christian church, Mimi broke away from religion to remembering who she is through a knowing of the Love of the universe. While every aspect of life changed in that moment, it became apparent many beliefs about family, relationships, careers and religion no longer served her anyway.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
Reading books by Dr. Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra and Oriah gave her permission to re-examine these beliefs in a safe forum. She is now good friends with both of her ex-husbands as they all share a house together so the children still have both their parents under the same roof! If you think that was an easy process, ask her about the 2 years of hell she went through before realizing she had the power to change her own attitude.
Fast forward 10 years and many tears along the way, Mimi has successfully guided and coached many men and women through divorce and separation without hating their ex-spouse, how to guide and mentor teens as they move to adulthood and give people permission to be great on their own terms.
Mimi lives in Chilliwack, British Columbia, Canada and enjoys walking and hiking in nature, hand crafting such as cross stitch and hitting the theatre for a good comedy!
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