Friday, Nov 25, 2016 



Thank-a-Thug Day?

Chilliwack hangs in to lead for Break and Enter in Canada

Staff/Voice photo



t was recently announced that Chilliwack was the Break and Enter capital of Canada. More than every big city and municipality from coast to coast. We should all go should and shake a thugs hand and thank them for earning the city that esteemed ranking. It's easy to find them — they're everywhere.

A new trend is that they're on those BMX kids bikes with hip-hop rap music blaring from ipods. Plus, bikes are good for quick trips to the Sally Ann. The bikes are great for casing neighbourhoods and quick get-a-ways from the cops' K-9'9 without a scent. It's rare as hen's teeth to find the good ones —they the one who have lights on their bikes and wear helmets.

The miscreant types are tricky too. These days, for example, rival gangs make will make a phony gun call across the city, meanwhile, when most of the cops are over there, they're on the other side with their nefarious activities.

It sounds like a such nice place to raise a family. Doesn't it?

If there was a province-wide disaster such as an earthquake, it wouldn't be hard to imagine them falling over each other and kicking little old ladies out of the way to save their own hides.

My grandmother, bless her soul, was hurt badly in her wheelchair one day on her way to play bingo when a little thug tried to reef her kangaroo pouch off. She put up a good battle to no avail. Good haul with the bingo money.

On "Welfare Day" they're dancing in the streets and day the next back to pilfering. They would hold the city hostage and really wreak havoc if they didn't get their free turkey dinners with all the trimin's.

Yup, Chilliwack is getting pretty rough these days alright, especially for a guy like me who likes to go out and take pictures of people being arrested. One cuffed customer, who was just back from shopping, gave me a photo op by biting the bars in the back of a police cruiser. Some flash me gang signs (deaf language for the hearing.), or give me the finger salute.

I've only had my door kicked several times by a variety individuals over the last couple of times. Rebuffed love? Not when the door almost comes off its hinges. I've been screamed yelled and even intercommed (sic). That's aside from the email death threats, and calls at 3am. Despite all that, I still feel safer at home.

True Crimes: Thugs are very skilled at mass thievery too. That's when 7 or 8 people decide to do a little late night shopping — at the same time. All the clerk can do is watch the vignettes of vultures. Then off they go patting tummies full of chips and chocolate bars. These stores count on losing a certain amount of purloined  product nightly and even add it to their budgets.

It's a tough town now.


Back in the 1950-60s, if someone was caught breaking-in, everyone in knew about it even before the cops did.

It's not a piece of cake being a business owner either. One day last month, I watched as some guy got mad at the pizza sauce, and then threw it around the room as he left. The owner had to come out with a rag and mop. The thing is, he had his young 5 or 6-year-old boy with him to school. Though no doubt the kid liked the pizza more than what his dad did.

Who do you blame? The kids, parents, grandpa? So each generation is better at filching than the one before it. There are guys out there who will steal anything just to get arrested and get 3 squares and a regular roof over their heads. Last week, a guy passed counterfeit USD at McDonald's for a burger and fries. He should be buying other inmates desserts.


Prison chain gangs ended in the early, 1900s but in 1995, Alabama become the first state to revive them.


Yes, we should all go out with hugs for thugs, and thank them for a job that goes thankless.


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