Feature Story Friday, February 28, 2014
Once Upon a Time in Chilliwack
Three of Canada's top comics had patrons roaring last week at Comedy Night
The many faces of comedian Charlie Demers during Comedy Night at the Coast Hotel last Saturday. Below, Jeffery Yu talks about dating.
hey say that a good joke consists of three things — audience, timing and the comedian, oh, and of course some funny faces always help.
Last Saturday, three of Canada's top comedians; Jeffery Yu, Kevin Banner and
rubber-faced Charlie Demers brought their acts to the Coast Hotel's Rosedale
Room courtesy of UrbanXperience Events and Entertainment.
Jeffery Yu was first up to bat.
"If you're a guy and you go with a girl to a restaurant, you never use a
coupon," quipped Yu, who also emceed.
He described a situation where a couple goes out for breakfast after a date the night before and they sit there eyeballing each other.
"She's like looking at the guy thinking 'He loves me', and he's looking at
her and thinking 'What happened to her face? She had one last night and now
she's got no eyebrows. They were there. What was she in a fire and they were
Yu made some observations about Chilliwack.
"Is Chilliwack a multi-cultural place? I'm not feeling it," he said. "Who's
that Chinese guy? Oh, he's the waiter."
He said the last time he came out to Chilliwack he was approached by a guy
covered in muscles.
Charlie Demers wowed crowds with some great stand-up humor. Below, Kevin Banner jokes about his weight.
"Thanks," he said. "Please don't rape me. This is my girlfriend Pussy
Chopsticks and we're playing Pai Gow right now."
When Kevin Banner took centre stage he talked about what he calls "fat guy discrimination".
"I was on the Skytrain the other day and someone on the train farted. Everybody on the train looked at me. Well, it was me, but how dare they. The assumed. That's bullying. We're trying to put an end to bullying. Haven't you read the paper? It's in there. It's a big issue, especially in school and people don't talk about the long-term consequences associated with bullying. Like personally, I think I wouldn't be so heavy if it wasn't for bullying because I took a lot of lunch money in my day. I didn't realize you could spend it on other stuff, right? But I was obligated to buy those hoagies."
Banner said he wasn't sure he was going to make it to Chilliwack.
"On Monday I was in the hospital with kidney stones. I've had to pee through a strainer every day since Tuesday, so don't come over for spaghetti," he said adding "I actually like chicken pot pies — not in that order."
He also spoke about smoking marijuana.
"I also like to smoke pot. Some of my friends won't smoke pot with me, but
some of my friends will smoke pot with me. Some of them say it's not a drug.
It's natural, it grows in soil with rain under the sun. It's beautiful.
Which is nice in theory, but in actuality, its grown in a basement suite
with tin foil over the windows, in plastic buckets filled with fertilizer
under a heat lamp — the way nature intended it."
"Now, I'm a quick thinker, so I said 'It shouldn't' and the cop said 'Yeah,
I know it shouldn't, I am a cop.'"
"I thought like "Holy crap, I'm on a very special episode of Glee."
"How much pot did your partner find in my car?" he asked.
He went on to describe how he tried to lose weight and bought a weight loss hypnosis track on iTunes.
"It was pretty good. I lost about 13 bucks. It was like you no longer desire
tinpans, red velvet crushes, marshmallow crocodiles, chocolates or lollies."
One day he said his pal told him his girlfriend was hot.
"You don't take your shirt off when you have sex with her do you?" he asked.
"I just finished smoking pot out of it," he said.
The next Comedy Night will be in May with a whole new lineup. Watch the
Voice for more details later.
For more information about UrbanXperience, visit
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